Monthly Archive for June, 2008

Mr. Gates has left the building

Published by Jeremy Yeo on June 30, 2008 in just another category. 0 Comments

Haven’t posted in abit as a lorry apparently tripped the phone lines outside. No cables lead to having no internet while having functioning cables lead to the piece of crap called streamyx.

Over the course of the week, Mr. Gates / Bill Gates / William Henry Gates III, has left his executive post at Microsoft (ref1). That’s right, the Harvard dropout (would have made fun of this point if he did not have that much money; all 58000000000 of it.) that brought you what you are currently using to read this (you’re using windows don’t lie), has ceased to be Microsoft’s full time executive. He will still remain as a part-time non-exec chairman (honestly just take this as he has quit).

With the above sexy picture posing Bill Gates gone,

This tongue wagging bald (ps. nothing against bald people) Steve Ballmer would be incharge of the big M (no, not McDonalds).

Kudos too Bill G. for bringing windows to the world and charging an exorbitant price on a piece of software named after a part of a house:

Would it not have been better to name it Microsoft Chairs? or Microsoft Beds? or Microsoft Kitchens? Microsoft Dining Tables? Microsoft BBQ Grills?

Sounds weird? Seriously if the first every version of Windows were to be named Microsoft Toilet Bowl 95, it would have been taken seriously.

Did you know that Bill Gates sperm is the second most wanted by Chinese woman (ref2)? If you have somehow discovered a piece of tissue or cloth containing the sperm of Bill Gates kindly disregard the above sentence and send it to me. I pay you big monnies ok? Since Mr. Gates no longer works full time in an executive post, he could go into production readying stock for the next version of windows:

I would buy that. And so would 1000 other Chinese woman. My sperm is on that list too. Only at number 11. And that a technical error with the website caused numbers after 10 not to be shown. Mr. Tom Cruise is at 12. Original unedited list sent to me by the journalist so that there is no need for doubt:

Last exam paper tomorrow. Goodluck me. If I fail, at least I;m still at 11. :)

Ref1
Ref2

Note to college girls: stop whistling at construction workers.

Published by Jeremy Yeo on June 24, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Do you find construction workers sexy? No/Yes? Why else would college girls be whistling at them. Really what has happened to the world? Since when do college girls pheuwit (unsure of spelling, sue me) construction workers and distract them?

I mean all I see here is Ahbeng’s doing that kissykissy (Will give you RM10 if you can spell that sound) sound when girls walk past them and sure as heck not the other way around especially if it were construction workers. I dunno maybe all construction workers look like this:

However I’d say its more likely the average construction worker would be like so:

Damn…look at that sexy thing…mmhmm…wheelbarrow…mmhmm…asphalt…sexy cap…sexy baju…sexy rolling skills. No wonder PHEUWIT! I only wish I was one of those lucky construction workers with college girls wrapped around them.

Seriousry rah ho, I think ho, sexiest contlacte lo ho, is Phua Chu Kang loh, hoh? Collect bo? Lu ka ki kua la. Kurry hail oso got. More (mole) oso got. Gorden chain got. Wahseh. Eh yerrow boots oso got leh.

Weird post…must be the exam stress. :)

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Childrens Story Book

Published by Jeremy Yeo on June 23, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

There comes a time when you become a parent and you that kid of yours require special attention like changing diapers, breast feeding :) , reading stories to them when they sleep. But really, what would you tell them if they see in their ‘Finnish Childrens Book’ the following page:

This is what I would tell my kid:

That zebra was a magic fairy and he wanted to sweeten the cow and piggy’s cakes and food as they were cute and nice. Poof it became extra sweet and they all ate happily ever after. Now goodnight and go to sleep!!!

The best translation I’ve gotten out of a language translator (http://tranexp.com/) for the following sentence:

kun se seepra menee kahvilaan juomaan espressoa sssssssssssss suihkuaa
mahtavassa kaaressa suoraan poytanaanpureiden soppakulhoon

is:

while it zebra menee cafeteria brew espressoa sssssssssssss spout
potent kaaressa frankly poytanaanpureiden soppakulhoon

which actually meant (see ref):

when zebra goes to a cafe to drink a cup of espresso ssssssssssss sprays… in a great arc straight into the next table’s soup bowl

or most likely:

WHAT AM I DOING ILLUSTRATING BOOKS READ BY YOUNG CHILDREN? I SUCK. PERIOD.

Goodnight.

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